That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.
As we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward spin-offs to bafflingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’
But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Shady figures convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.
In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.
Victoria Beckham
There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to reading a sales catalogue. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.
The Inheritance
It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.
Prime Target
We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.